Freefalling. Am I free?
Now is the time for re-invention.
Being self employed and really having just gone back into self employment, I am having the experience of everything dissolving away.
Everywhere I turn there is the click bait information clinging to real information. I have plenty of it. So I look around my house, it's me and my 16 year old daughter and my cat.
We have food and water and power. But outside, it seems as though the entire train has just hit the brakes and I'm watching a train wreck in slow motion. Waiting for the wave of the sonic pulse to hit. How does a person prepare for time indoors without access to income or access to community?
I am realizing that my daily habits are forming now. I can see how easily I can wander toward the pain body to check in with how much I should fear and what is working. I know that whether I look or not really doesn't matter at this point. What matters is the adaptability I have to the situation.
Staying motivated is the key.
I went through the denial period, and then the conspiracy theory moment, and then decided to face it. What looked back at me was my own insecurities. The darkest voices that lay deep in my belly rumbled up to tell me I wasn't enough. Wow. Really self? This is how we roll. Dang. Talk about letting myself down. I let myself believe I wasn't enough and won't be able to make this. So let's put it out there. Are you feeling that level of vulnerability? I think many are in some way or another.
Now is the time for reinvention.
Look at the daily habits. Mine need adjusting. Getting out. If only for a walk in the sun. Putting my art supplies out. Every day I can create. The other day, I put Santana on the radio and played my hand drum. It was hard...Santana...drums.....
Last night I sang in the dark. For at least an hour I just sat on my couch and sang in the dark. It's time to take stock in what I do when I am home and find a way to make that my discipline because, that is truly what I love. Art and music.
So motivation comes from the power of play. It makes the activity light and pressure free.
It inspires the muse. It ignites passion and sparks creativity. Motivation comes from creation.
Think about the daily habits. I am. I am going to look closer at each point of play I find myself most attracted to. Maybe I will take an online class to extend it. Maybe I will finally teach myself guitar again. What do you love to do that you have put away? Pull it out. Learn something new about yourself. Or remeet yourself. What I can guarantee, is that after this experience, we will never be the same again. Wouldn't it be cool to have played a critical role in your evolution?
Keep the dark voices at bay, call your authentic self out to play.
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