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Writer's pictureLisa Nevot

Reconstruction requires Deconstruction



To grow and transform, always requires something to be left upon the altar. What is sacrificed to make the changes we need to become our most recent self?


In this image there are years of pent up conditioning. The grooming of a person to be soothed into compliance through story. As the family sits around the table, every one plays the role in the theater of life. They all know their place. The colors and activities determine our gender roles. The schools prepare us with indoctrination into patriotism. One nation under God. Whose God? The churches have souls born into spiritual bondage. Preparing them to reproduce and continue to grow the congregation. The country.


This soul has a ball gag held in by barbed wire. Two spirits hold the device in place as the soul exhales the universe. It cannot close the portal. The mind is boiling over as it is over burdened with too much darkness. The pulse of anxiety is the foundation for the ritual of self destruction. All fed to it to keep it small and under control.


But the eyes filled with fire can see. Once seen, nothing can be unseen. They cannot close. It makes them burn.


Never was my mind so certain as when I was in the throws of my insanity. My perfect world.


This is my vision as our world deconstructs and the veil is peeled away.


To find our dignity, to have our respect, we must first see the enslavement of our minds and the programming we are exposed to from the time we are born. Understanding where we came from, and not whitewashing the history shows us the greatest reveal of ourselves.


Our identity is hi-jacked and given back to us in a way that feeds the needs of darkness. We need to meet the darkness and understand it. Not hide or pretend. We all know now that it is a mask.


Now that we see it, we can choose. Now we can choose because now we know we have a choice.


All of life needs to be respected. Life in the sky, life on the earth, life in the water. We must release ourselves of these false narratives and return to the worship of life, innocence, and purity. Purity in the animals, and plants, and water and food and the human condition. We need to come into our humanity.


Now we know. Now we can choose. Untether our voices and choices. Create unity in protection of all that sustains, nurtures, protects, and feeds the life on this earth.


What a gift it is to see what we were. Now we can create who we want to be.


The sacrifice I am making, what I am placing on the altar, is the peace of mind I get if I pretend it is all "just fine". I do not get to go back into the matrix. I have unplugged and am out here watching. I don't fit. And the system has spit me out. I feel compelled to use my voice and it is costing me in my sales and followers. I am not able to keep numbing and distracting myself with pretty pictures. Because I don't want my future to only know the beauty of this natural world through photos. I am not able to hide. This altar to create this 54 year old me, is loaded with the weight of the world, and the power to create a new reality through choice.


Now that I have deconstructed, I get to be the truth of my soul. I can reconstruct with my choices. Mindful practice. I forgive myself for thinking I was not enough, when truly my biggest flaw was that I was naïve. I trusted too quickly. I liked too many, and I thought everyone wanted the best for me. I believed in kindness. I still do. But I believe in discernment, and am no longer naive. Truly, I am not broken. It was those who were in control of my life. Now that I have control, I can be safe. I am safe because I see.


I am she, she is me.


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